LGBT Family Violence Program: 214.540.4455

The goal of the Family Violence Program is to ensure that all survivors of intimate partner abuse, especially gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals can access and receive needed services without fear of discrimination or lack of compassion. Resource Center Dallas' Family Violence Program promotes self-autonomy, safety, and long-term independence.

• Individual Crisis Counseling
  
• Support Groups
  
• Advocacy with other service providers and agencies
  
• Case management to assist with safety planning, legal/medical arrangements, employment and long-term independence.
  
• Assistance with obtaining Protective Orders.
  
• Information and referrals for shelter, medical, legal and counseling services.
  
• Educational seminars, presentations, and public outreach.
  
• Advocacy with Law Enforcement, Criminal Justice personnel and agencies.

All our services are provided free of charge.

Tips on Identifying Domestic Violence

Does your partner?

• Act jealous or possessive of you
  
• Blame you for things that are not your fault
  
• Lie to you, then deny it
  
• Belittle you or your accomplishments
  
• Make you question your sense of reality
  
• Constantly check up on you
  
• Lie to others about you or the relationship
  
• Threaten you, your family or friends
  
• Keep you from medical care; hide your medicine
  
• Hit, shove, push, slap, or restrain you
  
• Have no respect for your need for sleep
  
• Hide or break things that are important to you
  
• Drive recklessly to scare you
  
• Refuse to practice safer sex or force you to have sex
  
• Humiliate you sexually or cause you pain
  
• Threaten to “out” you to family or co-workers
  
• Get mad at YOU if someone pays attention to you
  
• Often accuse you of cheating
  
• Question you on where and with whom you’ve been
  
• Blame her/his actions on alcohol or drugs
  
• Cause you problems at work, school, etc.
  
• Find fault with your friends
  
• Say the abuse is your fault
  
• Scream or curse at you
  
• Constantly criticize you
  
• Has your partner threatened suicide?

Do you?

• Give up activities/friends that were once important to you
  
• Feel your partner’s issues or experiences are more worthy of attention than your own
  
• Constantly try to find ways to get your partner’s approval
  
• Rehearse what you’ll say to your partner so you won’t set him/her off
  
• Make excuses for your partner’s behavior to yourself or to others
  
• Feel like your partner often lies or plays “head games”
  
• Withhold information about social interactions for fear of what s/he may say or do
  
• Feel it’s easier to go along with your partner rather than disagree
  
• Ever feel afraid of your partner
  
• Feel you are to blame for everything wrong in the relationship
  
• Feel as though you have to identify your sexual orientation or gender identity in a way that will please them
  
• Have you attempted suicide?

Or, have your friends or family ever warned you about your partner or expressed concern for your safety or well-being?

If you answered "yes" to even one of the above questions, you may be in an abusive relationship and could be in danger.

If you think that you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, please call for help and support: 214.540.4455.

            Texas Law Regarding Family Violence

In Texas, it is a crime for ANYONE who you’re living with (or have lived with in the past) – are currently dating (or have dated in the past) – or is a relative by blood or marriage:

to intentionally physically harm you or threaten you in a way that places you in fear of physical harm… even if you are both of the same gender/sex.

If one of the relationships listed above applies to you and the abuser, and if you have recently been the victim of physical abuse or the threat of imminent danger you can also apply for a Protective Order.

If you think that you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, please call for help and support: 214.540.4455.

Basics About Family Violence

Family Violence, also called Domestic Violence or Intimate Partner Violence, is a pattern of abusive or coercive behaviors meant to scare, harm, and ultimately control the thoughts, beliefs or actions of an intimate partner, friend or family member - or to punish them for resisting control. Studies indicate that one out of four LGBT individuals will experience family violence.

Abuse can be emotional, physical, verbal, spiritual, sexual and economic. It may begin with put-downs, belittling, head-games, jealousy or other emotional and verbal attacks. Stalking is a frequent tactic abusers employ to control and instill fear.

Many falsely believe family violence only occurs within heterosexual relationships; therefore, many LGBT individuals may not realize they are in an abusive relationship. Because many people also assume that each individual in a same-sex relationship has equal power, there exists a dangerous and potentially lethal myth that the abuse is mutual.

Studies indicate that:

• Gay and lesbians are more likely to experience family violence at the hands of their partners than to be exposed to antigay violence perpetrated by strangers. (1)
  
• Abuse in same-sex intimate partner relationships occurs at a rate comparable to that of domestic violence experienced by heterosexual women, 20 – 33%. (2)
  
• Island and Letellier describe it as “the third most severe health problem facing gay men today.” (3)
  
• Among lesbians, one large study reported more than half of respondents had been abused by a woman partner in their lifetime. (4)
  
• A recent study of 817 MSM found that nearly 1 in 3 gay and bisexual men are victims of intimate partner abuse, including verbal, physical and sexual abuse. Men in abusive relationships were more likely to report suffering from serious health problems such as heart disease, hypertension, depression, and anxiety and were more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors such as substance abuse and unprotected sex. (5)

1. From “Intimate Violence in Male Same-Sex Relationships” by Jessica L. Stanley, Kim Bartholomew, Tracy Taylor, Doug Oram, and Monica Landolt in Journal of Family Violence, Vol. 21, No. 1, January 2006
2. Lundy, S. 'Abuse That Dare Not Speak Its Name: Assisting Victims of Lesbian and Gay Domestic Violence in Massachusetts', (Winter 1993) 28 New England Law Review 273.
National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs:
http://www.ncavp.org/issues/DomesticViolence.aspx
3. Island, D. & P Letellier. Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence, Harrington Park Press, New York, 1991, 27.
4. Gwat-Yong Lie and S. Gentlewarrier. ‘Intimate Violence in Lesbian Relationships: Discussion of Survey Findings and Practical Implications’, (1991) 15 Journal of Social Service Research 46, The Haworth Press.
5. From: “Intimate Partner Abuse among Gay and Bisexual Men: Risk Correlates and Health Outcomes,” lead author Eric Houston of the Department of Psychology, University of Illinois at Chicago.

For the batterer, the violence is about power and control. Looking at the victim’s behavior as an explanation for the violence takes the focus off the perpetrator’s responsibility, and unintentionally supports the abuser’s violent behavior. Victims have no control over the abuser’s violence and cannot stop it. Abuse occurs because the batterer chooses to employ abusive or coercive behavior to control an intimate partner or to punish her/him for resisting control.

Batterers typically blame their abusive behavior on their partner, substance abuse, or their own past victimizations rather than taking responsibility for their actions.

Survivors of Domestic Violence are not weak or pushovers, nor do they "like" to be abused. In fact, they show great strength and courage.

It can be dangerous and difficult to get away from the abuser who will often stalk, threaten, physically harm, and/or coerce the survivor back into the relationship. Leaving an abusive partner can be the most dangerous time in the relationship, as threats, harassment, and assaults often escalate just after one leaves the abusive partner.

If you think that you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, please call for help and support: 214.540.4455.

Helping Someone Who is Being Abused

• Don’t insist s/he leave the abuser. Leaving the abuser without a comprehensive safety plan is dangerous.
  
• Learn all you can about domestic violence and resources so you don’t put your friend or yourself in more danger.
  
• Reinforce the fact that s/he is not the cause of the abuse. Your friend’s actions or words are not the reason the batterer abuses and it is typical for the abuser to convince your friend that they are.
  
• Be aware of his/her grief and loss, and be supportive.
  
• Continue to be supportive of your friend, unless it becomes dangerous for you to do so.
  
• Remind her/him that many couples have unhealthy communication patterns, but abusive behavior is never acceptable. Abusive behavior is a choice and is the abuser’s responsibility to change.
  
• Don’t suggest couples counseling, which can be dangerous.
  
• Remind your friend that excessive jealousy, as well as controlling and dominating behaviors are not indicators of love.
  
• Encourage her/him to seek support and assistance from us or other domestic violence resources.

Interested in Donating?

Our clients are in need of the basic necessities required for starting anew such as shoes, toiletries, clothing, household supplies, and bicycles for transportation, etc. Since we cannot always accommodate storage for such items, Gift Cards make a wonderful way to support our survivors.